here's a situation that's new to me: A neighbor of mine sends his little girl over to come play w/ my 16 mth son. She's 5. There is no family unit in her home. When we are outside, he comes out and tells me she wants to come over to play. She says, no. She doesn't listen to me and would rather play in the flowers. I don't want to tell them no, she can't come over. He has full custody of the little girl. My son is so excited to see her and she wants nothing to do with him. I'm all for being "neighborly", but I don't want to be abused as a babysitter. He is never outside playing with her. We can't even go outside anymore. If I'm standing outside talking with another neighbor, he stills implies that she wants to come over. I was sick for two weeks and when I told him that, he told me, that's alright, she'll be okay. She's still telling me she doesn't want to come over. I've heard him tell her that she'd better mind me. Don't know what to do, worried about not being a good neighbor, worried about the little girl, and worried about my son. Please don't suggest I "tell him off", that's not the way to handle this. We really want to go outside!!
I'm afraid that if it is so important that you not have to watch her, then you probably will have to tough...that doesn't mean tell him off. I think your choices are: 1) Deal with it, but try to be a positive role model in her life. 2) Avoid him. If you see him, go inside until he is gone or make excuses that you have to go do something, etc. Maybe he'll get the hint. 3) Make rules as to if you will watch her then he has to ask you ahead of time, etc. 4)Call the authorities if you think it's a really bad situation of neglect 5) Move to a new house...probably not the easiest solution 6) Tell him no. She doesn't want to and you aren't comfortable with that. If he still sends her over. Bring her back to his house and say, I'm sorry I just can't. There are ways of being tough and standing up for your rights without being obnoxious, obscene or even impolite. GOOD LUCK and I'll keep that poor girl in my prayers.
